25 February 2013

One Year Post Au-Pair

Happy one year anniversary!

One year ago today, I was kicked out of my au pair situation on three day's notice after being sat down at the breakfast table and told I was two-faced, a liar, a terrible person, and incapable of being trusted.  I then moved to my new apartment in Göttingen with the help of two Brits in a sexy car and my barn friend with her life-saving horse trailer, which was awesome in and of itself.

I think today deserves some acknowledgement, so I'm going to celebrate with a list of eight things I learned from eight months of my life that were really not that fun.

1)  There's only one thing worst than getting headlice when you're 23 years old and have hair down to your ass, and that's getting headlice when you're 23 years old and have hair down to your ass with a host mom who not only manages to track down your mom's name and email address online, but also has the balls to send her an email informing her that her daughter refuses to share her "feelings" about said headlice.

Ready for this, world?

...Lice suck.

Consider my feelings shared.

2)  The Waldorf school system and ideology is hands-down the craziest you will ever encounter in your life, unless you run into a cult founded by a mystic prophesizing the second coming of Jesus and a racial apocalypse who believes children should be fed grass and taught to dance their names.  Wait, no, that's just a Waldorf school.  My bad.

3)  Milk.  Only does the body good if you drink it in host-family-approved quantities.  In which case my levels of milk consumption are doing my body about as much good as a heroin-infused Big Mac.

4)  Potty training is a sign of poor parenting, and it's one of the reasons children grow up to be stressed-out and angry.  Studies have also shown that nearly every mass murderer and professional ping-pong player in history was potty-trained.  Consider it just one of the many things my parents did wrong to turn me into the terrible, badly-adjusted person I am today.  Thanks, Mom and Dad.

5)  Bread for dinner.  Great as long as you can sneak downstairs two hours later to eat dinner again.

6)  Organic food is just normal food with a jacked-up price tag delivered to your grocery cart by someone who doesn't own pants that fit and needs to shower more often.

7)  There are many better ways to get into a country's culture than to be come an au pair.  One way is to be a hobo in that country.  Another way is to be a prostitute in that country.  Another way is to do basically anything other than au pairing in that country.

And, the most important lesson I learned:

8)  My brain is a weird, creative, sarcastic, very very special place--I like it just the way it is, but I learned that other people will not.  And that's okay.  As it turns out, the world doesn't stop turning when people you desperately want to like you decide they hate you for all the same reasons you love yourself.  I learned that I am capable of moving on and moving forward.  And despite an end to my au pair experience that dictated to me for fifteen minutes all the reasons I should hate myself, I don't.  In the end, I am the queen of finding things to laugh about.


Edit: That's a golden scepter, not a golden penis.  Just so we're on the same page.

22 February 2013

Roommate hunt is on

Hey all!

Still lacking in anything truly interesting to tell you, but figure I'd at least make a short post about roommate hunting.  The hunt is still on--I have thus far offered the apartment to four people, the first three have turned me down and now I'm waiting to hear back from number four.  Let's take a look at some of the people who have come by:

1) Guy who talked nonstop about how perfect the apartment was and how he really really wanted it and then when I offered it to him, turned me down.

2) Girl who managed to make fun of Mexicans and my boyfriend in practically the same breath and then round it off with a pensive "Americans are weird, aren't they?"  You're weird.  Get the hell out of my apartment.

3)  Everyone who has responded to my apartment offer with, "No thanks, but don't worry, it's not you, it's me."  No, it is me, I didn't realize we were breaking up.

Sigh.

In other news, I've turned in a grant proposal  the first of my papers, and now I have a little over two weeks to write my next one. Which sounds doable, until I remember that I have Spanish course 5 days a week from 8-12 and then work three days a week from 12-3 and then riding and singing thrown in there for fun.  Oy.  On that note, I'm going to go to the library and start reading things, but have my new favorite song of the day!


Adios!

15 February 2013

Finally, an update

Hey all!

Sorry for not updating in forever.  Truly, very little has happened, and it's only in the last few days I've started gathering minor stories worth blogging about.  So, here we go:

Story 1: Four days ago, my bike slid on black ice and I fell down and everything still hurts.  That's the whole story.

Story 2: I signed up for Spanish class, yay!  And send another grant proposal off, yay!

Story 3: The neighbors threatened to call the cops on me because I opened up the window in the hallway to get rid of the small of smoke.  When I went to the housing people to complain, they told me they couldn't help because I wasn't the "head renter." They also told me the crazy neighbors told them they no longer smoke in the halls.  I was like, "I'm not an idiot...you can smell it."

Story 4:  Roommate is moving out, so we've had three people come by to check out the apartment and audition for the role of New Roommate.  Door Number 1 was adorable and happy and my favorite by far--I've already offered her the apartment.  Door Number 2 was also nice and has a washing machine, but is a little weird.  Door Number 3 was my second favorite because she owns everything (plates, cutlery, a refrigerator, etc.), but I don't think we would ever be friends.

Story 5:  Yesterday was Valentine's Day!  I've never had a functioning Valentine's Day so I was very excited.  Unfortunately, I have negative ideas what to get Al.  I mean, I was good on Christmas, and I know what he's getting for his birthday, but I was thrown for a loop on V-Day.  So I wound up giving him something I know he really needs.


Yes, I have him a colander.  I know, I am the worst girlfriend ever.  But he REALLY REALLY needed a colander.  I also threw some chocolate covered strawberries in there, so I'm not completely useless.  Maybe?  I hope not.

Off to go write an essay that needs to be done by Monday.  Oy!

Adios!

02 February 2013

Happy February! And German neighbor Drama Llama

Hey all!

This is going to be short because I have nothing to tell you and the sun is out for the first time in over a week so I want to run outside before it starts raining again.  Coming up on the last week of classes and now stress-time, also known as Write Shit Tons Of Paper, begins.  Joy.  But right now, I've got to get these funding applications done and sent in, and my bike is broken, again.  Rideable, but I still have to take it to the bike store.

Ah crap, the sun went away.

As far as my psycho-neighbors go, they are still psycho and have been driving me and Roommate psycho ourselves with all their fucking door-slamming, which I'm pretty sure they deliberately coincide with the end of the semester because they are actually that awful.  As we speak, I have a police report read to go, I'm just waiting for the doors to start again so I can hit "Send."  Will the cops be able to do anything?  Not really. But my goal with this police report is to finally get the housing people's attention. They've been blowing us off, and the woman who's in charge of our block refuses to come by and help us because, and I quote, she "doesn't want to talk to them."  Yes, I have neighbors so horrible that not even the people whose job it is to talk to them want to talk to them.  So maybe we can kick some asses in gear once the higher-ups get word that the police are involved.  We shall see.

The sun is back!  That's my cue.  Here, have my favorite song of the day.  I love George Watsky because he is adorkable and also really really clever.  Also, it's impossible to stay mad at my neighbors once I turn this on.  Until they start slamming doors again, then all bets are off.